Planks, Platforms, And Prayers

If we were the kind of people the Republican Party appear to be catering to in their official platform this year, we might be having a very different reaction to the weather hitting Florida right now. In fact, if we'd been the knuckle-dragging types the 2012 GOP Platform Committee seems to cater to, and it had been the Democratic National Convention that was delayed and curtailed by hurricanes twice in a row, you can bet we'd be crowing about how the wrath of God had brought the storms to plague Florida because the Liberals were in town.

Of course, we're not those people and it's actually been the Republican Party - the party that doesn't believe in climate change - that's had its big national shindig clipped by weather twice in a row, back in 2008 and again this year. We could have told the GOP that scheduling their presidential nominating convention in Florida during hurricane season wasn't exactly a bright idea. [Vacationing at an all-expenses paid resort during hurricane season, however, will net you 20% off regular rates, at least.]

When it comes to bright ideas, the entire 2012 Republican Party platform - the official document that is supposed to state the core values of what ALL Republicans believe - isn't exactly made of modern thoughtful planks. Their platform this year is more like a few pieces of rejected scrap ideas, tied to a female sacrifice, carried by insane Neanderthals, who are running at top speed off the thin end of the ideological wedge.

We wish we were joking when we say this - but we're not.

Take the plank on women's rights, the one brought to light by last week's Freudian slip by Missouri Republican Todd Akin. On the issue of abortion, the GOP's platform states there will be NO exceptions for rape, incest, or to save the life of the mother. Mitt Romney, the party's presidential nominee, disagrees with this position. At least that was his most recent position… subject to change. According to the head of the RNC, Reince Prebius, Mitt can basically ignore what he doesn't like on the platform. So much for party unity.

The hypocrisy gets worse.

For a party that claims to be all about tax cuts, the Republican platform now says they're no longer standing behind the Mortgage Tax Deduction. As MSN Money reporter James Rowley noted, "Republican platform drafters refused to put their party on record for preserving the mortgage-interest deduction, giving Mitt Romney more flexibility to promote his plan to lower tax rates paid by corporations and the wealthiest Americans..."

In short, you should give up your mortgage tax deduction so corporations and the wealthiest Americans can keep theirs. After all, only the little people need to make sacrifices - a technique GOP star Chris Christie has perfected as Governor of New Jersey.

The GOP even wants to put a constitutional ban on tax increases, except for war and national emergencies. We all know how well that kind of economic straitjacket has devastated government's ability to do its job in California.

From the insane idea to return to the gold standard, to letting a racist write the immigration rules, to letting a hate group leader write the LGBT rights plank, the Republican Party Leadership truly appears to be running headlong off the end of the ideological wedge.

We can only hope most of the sane, moderate conservatives take a good hard look at those crazies and realize that's what everyone else thinks of anyone who calls themselves a Republican.

It is our hope that the rational Republicans step up to reclaim the Grand Old Party at the last minute this year. We're not betting the farm on it though.