In case you hadn't checked your calendar yet - or seen the piles of candy, cards, and teddy bears in stores leading up to today - this is officially Valentine's Day - though it's known by a whole host of other nicknames if you ask some of our friends, colleagues, and clients.
For many men in committed relationships, today is also known as "Guys Can't Win Day" - a day that Hallmark, Hersheys, florists, and jewelers everywhere count on for a boost to their annual bottom line. We say this with our collective tongues planted firmly in our collective cheeks. We're well aware that many women - including our staff member, Amy - don't expect nearly as much from their men on Valentine's day as modern American advertising leads us to believe.
No cars with massive bows needed. Just a small cup of her favorite Ben & Jerry's ice cream at home, or a simple night out without the kids, may be just the right display of affection that shows you care and also doesn't break the bank.
Of course, unless your partner is a great storyteller with that kind of gift, we don't recommend that simple course of action.
When she goes on Facebook, or Twitter, or Pinterest, or talks to her flock of friends, you naturally want her to brag about how awesome a gift-giver you are, and how thoughtful you can be. One of our staffers has a gay friend who took his partner to Vegas for Valentine's Day a few years ago - and all of the partner's female friends still remind their husbands of this every year.
Don't worry if you can't afford the lights, glamour, and big tiger shows of Vegas. The fact is, no matter how good a gift you give, no matter how big or how small, there's no real way for men to win on a day like today.
Even single men can get into trouble.
Among certain people we know, Valentine's Day is also known as "Singles Awareness Day" - and that's not necessarily meant in a good way. At one office we know, every year on this day people bring in all kinds of sugary sweet treats and foods, and all the single people eat too much - and then loudly complain in a completely unnecessary display of self-loathing. One guy at the office in question blew all his pocket change, and even a bit of bill money last year, so he could buy every woman in the place a single rose, like in "The Bachelor" television show.
Unfortunately, one of his co-workers was allergic to the roses placed all over the office, and another two read more into his gesture than he'd intended.
We're aware the Valentine's Day tradition has many different historical origins, and has basically evolved - or devolved - into little more than a "Hallmark holiday" (which, we actually appreciate, for those people we know who work at Hallmark). Because of that, some guys just don't want to celebrate the holiday. They think it's crass commercialism, worse than Christmas in some ways.
Commercialism or not, we say if you're gonna be damned - as a guy - one way or another? It may as well be for something you actually DID do, instead of what you didn't do.
So do something nice and get your Significant Other a nice gift - whatever you think will show you really care.
After all, today is as good as any other day to show the person you love - or even just the people around you - that you care. Besides - no matter how good you did? Tomorrow, someone will have done better, and you'll hear about it later. Most probably will have done a whole lot worse, though.
Like those guys buying chocolates at the gas station on the way home from work tonight...
